man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I look better un-naked...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
