eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
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you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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