Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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