i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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