Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
