There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
