You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
