He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
