a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
