woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
