So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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