he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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