its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize