Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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