he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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