Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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