No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize