He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize