id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
