The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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