I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
