she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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