Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.

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(315): View more from New York

you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.

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(757): View more from Virginia

6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

how did i know this would happen?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.

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(623): View more from Arizona

So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.

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(404): View more from Georgia

dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear

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