Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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