This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
