i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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