1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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