No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
