I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
