I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
