one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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