of course. lets lasso hookers.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
