I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize