I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
