Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
