I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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