Absence makes the cock grow harder.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
