Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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