He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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