Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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