I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize