im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
