Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize