I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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