If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
