I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
