Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
