Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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