he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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