Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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