I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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