dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
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I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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