im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
