You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
