you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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