I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize