she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
