Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we made out on top of his cat.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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