the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
